No one wants to be disappointed by their exam results, especially not medical students. For many of us, medical school is our first experience of disappointing grades. Up until now we’ve been rewarded for our hard work by flourishing results. Sadly, nothing lasts forever and when we get to medical school those top marks can seem impossibly out of reach.

Let’s have a look at why you’re feeling down and what to do about it…

Why are You Disappointed?

First of all, I’m going to ask you to take a look at the facts and consider whether this dismay is really called for?

College Results are Different to School Results

So maybe you were top of your class in school but now you’re studying medicine and everyone’s a top student. All of a sudden the amount of work that used to get you As and Bs only scrapes you a pass. It can feel disheartening to see 50% when you’re used to 95% but you have to remember that simply passing a year of medical school is just as impressive as getting all As in school. So when you pass an exam in med school don’t beat yourself up for not getting a first, celebrate your success and hard work! College exams are a completely different ball game to school tests and therefore the grading system is completely different too.

Failing an Exam

On the other hand, if you’ve failed an exam, be kind to yourself. Medical school is tough and it’s easier to fail than you might think. Failing an exam does NOT mean you’re a failure. This is probably a difficult time for you so don’t make it worse by beating yourself up and drowning in regret and hopelessness. Treat yourself like you would treat a friend. Take care of yourself, go for a walk to calm yourself down, console yourself, watch your favourite comfort TV show. Do what you need to do to make yourself feel better and then when you’re ready you can pick yourself up and move forwards.

Everyone falls at some hurdles in life, be it a failed exam, a failed marriage or losing a competition. Failure is a part of life, it doesn’t make you a bad person.

If it makes you feel any better, I’ve failed a few med school exams too.

Where is this Disappointment Coming From?

For disappointment to occur there has to have been some kind of expectation to begin with. So what expectations have you placed upon yourself?

If you’ve been hoping to get the same grades you achieved in school for the same amount of effort, you’ve been setting yourself up for disappointment. Have you been trying to keep your reputation as ‘top of the class?’ You’re putting yourself under immense amounts of unnecessary pressure. You’re brilliantly intelligent, your classmates are brilliantly intelligent (come on, you’re all in medicine!) Let’s just leave it at that and stop competing against our peers.

Where are these Expectations Coming From?

There can be lots of sources of pressure in our lives, both internal and external.

Internal Pressure

• You might feel disappointed because you know you could’ve done better. You know you didn’t put in the effort you’re capable of giving. It’s ok to feel disappointed. In fact, these uncomfortable feelings can actually be of benefit to you in the long run. They point you towards what you want to do next time your’e faced with an exam or similar challenge.
• Don’t confuse disappointment with disdain. Most of us med students take pride in our good grades (no harm in that). However, things can get ugly when we start relying on grades for self-assurance, fulfilment, validation etc. Your grades do not define you, they are only a small part of your life. You are a valuable person worthy of love, respect and happiness, regardless of your grades.

External Pressure

• Family – nothing makes your heart sink quite as much as disappointing the people you love. If your family place really high expectations on you then I’m very sorry, that’s a lot of pressure to deal with. It might help to talk to your family about how you feel or to seek support, for example from a college counsellor. Even when they have your best interests at heart, family can sometimes put us under crushing pressure. Like yourself, your family may be struggling to adapt to college grades vs school grades. If this is the case you can try to explain things to them (or just tell them your results in terms of pass/honours/2nd class honours/1st class honours – it sounds more impressive.)
• Friends – Maybe you were feeling quite pleased about your exam results until you learned your friends got higher marks than you. Life’s too short to be comparing yourself to others. You’re all on your own path and you’ll all make great doctors, it doesn’t matter about you grades.

Will this Grade Impact your Life?

NO

Then don’t give it a second thought.

YES

This is always a grim experience. Whether it’s that you don’t get the internship you were hoping for, have to resit an exam or repeat a year, this is most likely a difficult time for you.

• Let yourself feel sad
• Be gentle with yourself
• Seek support from friends, family, counsellors, college supports

How to Move On from Disappointment

• Allow yourself to feel sad for a while but don’t let it get you down for too long.
• Put things in perspective. There is more to life than this exam. No matter how big it is, it is not the end of the world.
• Focus on other areas of your life that are important to you. Spending time with family & friends, engaging in your favourite hobbies or picking up a new one, treating yourself better by building healthy habits and improving your relationship with yourself.
• Learn from your mistakes. I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now but if you want something positive to come from this experience you have to be open to learning from mistakes. Instead of giving out to yourself, plan your strategy for the next set of exams and you’ll come out the other side more resilient and prepared than ever!
• Want to get a head start on your next set of exams? Click here for med school study tips!